I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
