what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
