I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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