some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
