I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
