so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
