Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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