South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
