He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
