I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
