ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
