Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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