it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize