it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
