How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dick very happy bro
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
