mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need help removing her.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Boobs are out for the taking
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
