Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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