is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
