Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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