You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
