who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
