i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
