There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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