Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
