just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
