It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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