By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
