why didn't you poke me back
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
