HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
