If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just pee around me
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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