my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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