Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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