she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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