Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize