My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
