she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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