maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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