OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
