You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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