I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
