I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
