something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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