More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
