walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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