My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
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