you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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