i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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