Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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