her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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