Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize