Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
