ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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