bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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