dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
