What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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