she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
