He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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