Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
