girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Green mimosas i think yes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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