i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
