Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
